Remains
by fourwalls
Summary: Oneshot.Ishida ran away shortly after the Winter war. More than a decade later, Ichigo finally found him, and they have a serious conversation. Warning: Character Deaths. Hints of some pairings inside. Not IchigoxUryu


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with bleach.**

**Warning: Character deaths and a little violence**

**Set after about 10 years of the Winter war arc.**

The room was quiet except for the softly playing classical sonata, Mozart's to be precise, in the background. There were a few furniture here and there, much resembling an office, they were a few, but you can see for certain they were elegant and expensive. There was an elegant oak desk in the center, painted black, with a swivel chair behind it. There were shelves of books of different colors and sizes filling up almost the entire wall of the room except for the side where the large window taking up an entire wall behind where the desk was set. It was dim inside the room, the only illumination came from the moonlight outside and the small lamp by the desk lighting stacks of papers which seemed to have only been finished.

There was a man peering by the window, he was thoughtfully looking outside, his cigarette in hand. He raised those slender hands to his lips and took a drag out of his cigarette. His perfectly arched brow furrowed after he felt something change in his surroundings, but otherwise did not show any other sign of recognizing the change.

He blew out the smoke that had filled his lungs. "What are you doing here Kurosaki?" He said without giving much of a look at the one he addressed.

"Is that how you greet a long time friend?" The other man named Kurosaki replied, with a smile. "I see you haven't changed much since, only the hairstyle." Kurosaki noted, it wasn't falling on his face like the last time he saw him, but was now sleekly combed back to his head, with only a few stray strands falling by his eyes.

The man by the window slowly turned around to look at his 'friend'. He did not answer his question, instead he cast a steely gaze at the man in front of him. He again drew a breath from his cigarette and said as he exhaled, "I do not like repeating myself. What are you doing here Kurosaki?"

Ichigo shook his head as his smile faded. "Is it so wrong to say hello to a friend?"

The man went to sit in his chair by the desk and began piling the papers, as if not hearing the inquiry of the man before him.

Ichigo just watched his friend. He hasn't seen or at the very least heard from him for more than a decade. He had been worried of what happened to him since the time and was finally almost able to let go of this friend of his that he has lost. Almost.

"How have you been Ishida?" He asked, hoping to be able to start a conversation with his long lost friend.

"Fine," was Ishida's clipped reply. He again inhaled from his cigarette then crushed it in the ashtray on top of his desk.

Ichigo took a step closer to Ishida and grinned at him. "Are you not even going to ask how I have been?"

Ishida just looked at him without expression. "How did you find me?" He then asked.

Ichigo took a seat in the couch in front of the desk by the book shelves. "Well, Sado was in the city last week, he had to attend a seminar. He told me he was sure that it was you who he saw walk outside the fabric store. He said he wasn't able to go to you fast enough since he was having lunch with his boss, and when he was able to excuse himself, you were nowhere in sight, so I decided to pay you a visit." He chuckled lightly as he said, "I guess old habits die hard."

Ishida was just looking at him as he was talking, and he reached for his shirt pocket. He took a small metal container, opened it and took another cigarette. He placed it between his lips and lit it with a lighter that came from the same pocket. He then looked at his side.

"How much of that do you smoke everyday and since when have you been smoking?" Ichigo inquired, as he was concerned. He noticed that the ash tray had more than ten cigarette butts already. "You know you could have cancer—"

"I am very much aware of what smoking can do to me Kurosaki, I am also a doctor." Ishida cut him off, as he returned his harsh gaze at him.

"I can see that, but I don't think you understand. Or do you have a death wish?" Then Ichigo added almost exasperated, "A slow and painful one at that."

"My smoking is none of your business." Ishida said as he took a slow drag from his cigarette as if to prove his point.

Ichigo just sighed. "I swear you are turning out like your old _ma—"_

"Finish that statement and you won't walk out of here in one piece." Ishida snapped. If looks could kill, Ichigo would have already died.

They fell silent after that, and it wasn't comfortable. The tension between them was already becoming heavy in the air.

Ichigo again decided to break the silence and he decided to go straight to the point. "Why did you run away Ishida?"

"What I do and what I did is none of your concern."

"A few weeks after the war, you suddenly disappeared. We couldn't find you. We even asked Urahara's and Yoruichi's help in looking for you but you were nowhere to be found. We couldn't even trace your reiatsu. Sado and I even sometimes thought that you could have died. But no Hollow was that powerful enough to kill you, and if it was, then we could have sensed it. Only Urahara said that you were advanced in controlling your reiatsu, so there was that possibility that you could have just controlled it to levels that are undetectable, untraceable." Ichigo finished, there was a trace of sadness that can be seen in his eyes, and Ishida, even as he tried to ignore the emotions on his voice, was aware of it.

Ishida just looked down on the floor, his expression remaining blank.

"Was it because you were already tired of hunting down hollows? I find this reason unlikely since you dedicated all your life to training to eliminate them and protect people. Now looking at how you were able to hide out like this, it is only safe to say you haven't been using your Quincy powers since, or we could have found you easily."

Ishida unconsciously clenched his hands, a gesture that did not go unnoticed. "I was young and a fool then."

As if not hearing Ishida, Ichigo asked "Or was it because of the deaths that occurred after the war?"

Slowly, Ishida looked up, meeting eye to eye with Ichigo. There was something behind his eyes, something akin to sadness, to longing, to anger, to hate. All this emotions mixed up behind Ishida's eyes, his face did not reveal anything, his expressions remained unchanged but his eyes says it all. Kurosaki saw this and remained silent for a few moments, remembering all those who died during the war.

Those who died, Ichigo suddenly remembered after the mention of this, much to his chagrin. It had took him a few years to really get over those deaths. Some of them, he worked closely with, some he recognized. Abarai Renji was one of them. After they had emerged from Hueco Mundo, they have seen the devastation caused by the battles. A lot of Shinigami had fallen and those who were left have been fighting, desperately fighting. The top three Espada had proven to be powerful, power beyond their imagination and was already by themselves a handful to the Shinigami. When Aizen had emerged from the flames of Ryuujin jyatsuka,the battle immediately turned against Seretei.

Their team from Hueco Mundo had barely even recovered when they surfaced to the battleground, which is Karakura, or more accurately, the fake one. Their help had been immediately enlisted. Their original team, which consisted of Ishida, Rukia, Sado, Renji and Ichigo, was already exhausted. They had fought almost the entire time since they entered that barren land, arrancars of different power levels, numeros, privaron espadas, to espadas. They fought them all, and before they were able to rescue Orihime, there was a sea of Exequias blocking their way, and then there was the powerful fourth Espada. Ichigo was able to defeat him in the last minute when Ishida showed up to help, but he didn't kill him, like when he didn't kill Grimmjow.

Finally after a seemingly endless battle in Hueco Mundo, they were able to open up the Gargantua, with Mayuri and Nemu's help. They knew that the battle in Karakura had already begun, Orihime said that much, only they had hoped that it would be finished when they arrived. Byakuya confidently said that Seretei prepared for it, only they did not prepare very well. They completely underestimated the power of the Espada, and the power of Aizen and Gin's bankai.

Ichigo shook his head, as if the gesture would make him forget. He was again finally able to speak when he was sure he won't cry from the memories. "You know, Rukia was never the same when Renji died," he started, his voiced was laced with sadness, but he still managed to smile, "after that, she always visited a small hill in Rokungai. She once told me that there was where their childhood friends have been buried, and that Renji and her always visited that place before they entered the Academy." Ichigo sighed, then chuckled lightly, "She also said that Renji is an idiot, well he is an idiot."

Ishida was still looking at Ichigo as he was talking, then his eyes drifted to the side, not really seeing what was in this side of the room but rather the events during the battle. He was fighting some fraccion whose name he can no longer remember. By this time, Hitsugaya had already fallen under Halibel's blade, and Soi fon though alive, was barely breathing after her fight with Barragan. But the two Espadas remained unharmed. Kepachi, Byakuya, and Mayuri took up the place of the fallen Shinigami, and Unohana tended the wounded, with Isane by her side. Ishida finally defeated the fraccion he was fighting with the use of Seele Schneider, when he heard the loud cry of someone he recognizes very well as Rukia. He immediately spun around to see why, and his eyes widened at the sight. Renji was impaled by Gin's Shinso, which by the looks of it, was really aimed at Rukia. Renji was holding on to the blade so that it won't go through to Rukia. Gin, upon seeing that he was already able to strike a deadly blow, retracted Shinso, and walked away, leaving a dying Renji cradled by Rukia. Ishida immediately used hirenkyaku to get to them seeing how vulnerable they were now for attack.

He remembered the events of that day like it was yesterday

"_Don't you dare close your eyes Renji!" Rukia said, tears streaming out of her eyes._

_Renji's eyelids were getting heavier and heavier by the second, but he still managed to joke "You're…you're crying for me?" he smiles then coughs, and blood trails down his lips, "Come on Rukia… I…I thought you were tougher than that." He manages to rasp out._

_Rukia was now unable to speak, she was crying silently. Ishida could see that she knew Renji was dying._

"_I…" Renji began, "I love you," his words coming out choked, "always have." He managed to say as he smiled at her._

_Rukia's eyes widened, and now she was shaking violently from her sobs. She was looking down at Renji, there was anger in her eyes, Renji's eyes were slowly closing. She almost screamed at Renji "Why?" She asked as her hands tightened around Renji's body, "Why now? Why only tell me now?"_

_Renji slowly opened his eyes, looked at the direction where Ichigo was now fighting Gin, then he returned his gaze at Rukia. Rukia and Ishida had followed where he was looking. Rukia first look confused then she closed her eyes with the realization. She then looked again at Renji who was smiling up at her. "It's ok," Renji said, "I'm so tired, let me sleep." was his last words._

_Rukia just nodded at him, and when Renji closed his eyes, only a few seconds after, did his hands fall limply to his sides. Rukia's cries was then heard all over the battlefield as she hugged the form that was Renji_

"Rukia was always asking me why Renji never told her earlier," Ichigo continued, "I could never give her an answer."

Ishida wondered if after that, Rukia and Ichigo was able to become a couple.

As if reading Ishida's mind Ichigo answered, "I was never able to ask her out after that." Ichigo smiled to himself. "But she admitted to me sometime after that, she fell in love with me after we went to Soul Society to rescue her, I tried to ask her out, but she said, she can't. She is still caught up with Renji's death. It feels like betraying him if she does, but that was only a year after the war." Then his smile grew a little, "but I asked her again recently, she said she'll think about it." Ichigo looked up to Ishida.

Ishida just nodded at him, and said "Good for you."

"But you still haven't answered my question." Ichigo said.

By this time, the cigarette that Ishida lit was already burned to it butt. He again placed it in the ashtray. "I have no obligation to answer your questions."

"True. But it's the least you can give to your friend who you made to worry for the last decade."

Ishida just sighed and leaned back in his chair, taking out another cigarette and lighting it. He gave a look towards Ichigo which clearly says he won't be answering his question.

Ichigo decided not to beat around the bush. He had thought about this for the past years, and if Ishida ran away, which he did, this was the only logical explanation that he could come up with. "Was it because of _his_ death? Your father?"

Ishida froze from the raising his hand to his lips, which ever so slightly frowned. His eyes went dead for an instant as he remembered who Ichigo was talking about. He then turned his eyes towards Ichigo.

"Get out Kurosaki."

"Looks like I hit a nerve."

"I don't like where this conversation is heading." Ishida said, as he tried to make his face blank.

"Look Ishida, everybody recognizes him, you may have hated him, but he gave his life to save Karakura. He gave his life to save you. It is high time you accepted that, or you hate him so much that you can't accept that he had done something good?"

Ishida's mind went back to the battle. Somehow, after he went to Rukia, he was suddenly facing Tousen. He cannot remember how it happened, but all of a sudden, he was sending arrows to him, and he was also sending him his attacks. Then he was enclosed in his bankai, that shroud of darkness, of nothingness, it was terrifying. Ishida remembered during this fight that he had also almost died. He can barely move. Tousen was already about to deliver the finishing blow when a blue arrow, concentrated with reiatsu went flying towards him. He crashed to the nearest building.

"_You are still weak, that is what you get for escaping the walls of my training ground when you are not yet done learning." The cold voice of Ryuken said approaching from a cloud of smoke._

_Ishida's eyes widened, but was unable to answer his father due to exhaustion and surprise for even arriving._

_Tousen emerged from the rubble. "Those who disrupt the plan of righteousness will have the hand of justice fall upon them." _

"_Lowly Shingami." Ryuken muttered as he eyed Tousen. _

_Tousen then he flash stepped toward where Ryuken was and they began a battle unseen to even Ishida trained eye._

_After a few minutes, Tousen fell. Ishida searched for his reiatsu, and felt none. Tousen died, and by the hands of his father. He then fanned out his reiatsu and was alarmed with what he felt. With all the strength he had left, he summoned reiatsu particles to his feet to go to where his father was. His reiatsu was unstable and it was slowly falling._

"I have long accepted that." Ishida answered Ichigo's question. "And it wasn't only once…"

Ichigo was surprised by Ishida's answer. He fell silent, then he said "Your father was really something."

"Yes he was. And so was yours" Ishida answered. "But that doesn't mean I have to like him."

Ichigo became confused as his brows creased, "What do you mean?"

Ishida stood up from his swivel chair, again inhaled from his cigarette, and looked out to his window.

"He shouldn't have come." He said after a few moments of silence.

Ichigo just looked at Ishida, still confused.

"Everything I believed about him, these images of him that I remembered were shattered because of that incident. I believed him to be a cold man who doesn't care for me, who would leave me to die if the time comes, and I already accepted that. But all of a sudden, he arrives, when he says he won't even lift a finger to help me…"

Ichigo was somehow happy that Ishida was now talking this much. He did not dare interrupt him.

"…he told me that when he was training me after I regained my abilities. How dare he? Now I don't know what to believe anymore." Ishida voice was already slightly becoming shaky. He shut his eyes tight to hold the tears back. "How selfish of him to act like that when afterwards he won't be able to answer my questions. How selfish of him to make me think about him again and make me regret for things that I have done, for hating him, without having the chance to make an apology, or at least reconciliation. How selfish…" Ishida trailed off.

"I'm sorry." Ichigo said. His old man also fought during the war, but he was lucky enough to have survived, he thought.

Ishida's thought again trailed to that day, to that hour, to that minute.

_Ishida arrived near a building, this was where he sensed Ryuken's reiatsu was. He was already gasping for air and hurting from the injuries that he sustained earlier. There were still ongoing fights above them, and he would just search for Orihime later to heal his and his father's injuries, as well as the others._

_He saw his father leaning against the wall. He was panting, from the effort of the fight, he was bleeding in his gut, but he would survive._

_Ishida couldn't stop himself from asking "Are you alright?"_

"_Of course I am." Ryuken answered in his voice which remained level even after the injuries he sustained._

_Ishida was already making his way to his father when he saw his father eyes widen and at the same time, he felt something, or rather someone behind him. His father suddenly disappeared in front of him, and as he turned around, he saw the back of his father, only a foot away from him, his arms outstretched to the side, holding on to Seele Schneider. A dry thud was then heard afterward, and he looked down to see Tousen's head, separated from his body. Ishida Ryuken severed Tousen's head to save Ishida Uryu who wasn't fast enough to save his own life._

_He then heard his father groan and he slowly fell to his knees. Ishida was confused at first then he saw his father falling back. He immediately caught him before he fell to the ground. Ishida sat himself to the floor and held his father in his arms. He looked down on his chest and saw Tousen zanpakuto still rammed through it. Ishida's head was spinning. He never thought his father would die, he felt that powerful. He reached out for the Zanpakuto, intending to pull it off his chest thinking that this would help, knowing it won't, only to hear Ryuken draw a sharp intake of breath and gripped his hand to stop him from the doing the act._

"_Don't." Ryuken said._

"_Ryuken, I—I have to call for help."_

"_Calling your father by his first name…" he gasped for air "you never change do you?"_

_Ishida looked at him and he felt his eyes sting, but he did not cry, not yet at least._

_Ryuken inhaled sharply. _

_Ishida already started to stand up to look for Orihime, to heal his father, when he was held by the sleeves of his shirt. Ryuken was now looking at him, there were tears brimming on his eyes, he just did not know whether it was from the pain or something else entirely. _

_Then all of a sudden, he spoke. "I was—always—always proud of you as—"Ryuken's words were coming out as whispers, "my son." He finished then he closed his eyes._

_Ishida sat there motionless, not believing what he heard. "Ryuken." He called as he nudged at him, but there was no response. He repeated the act hoping that he would open his eyes, but it did not happen. He was unaware of the tears cascading down his cheeks. "Father…" he called out one last time, maybe this time he would respond, but the word was only for the air and the rocks to hear._

_After finally coming to his senses, he immediately shot up to find Orihime._

"But his death wasn't the only reason why you have left, isn't it?" Ichigo said, his voice was so somber, Ishida couldn't just ignore him.

Ishida turned away from the window to look at him. "This is why I left in the first place. I do not like to remember anything associated with that day, and much less talking about it. I have avoided everything that will remind me, even the people, and now after so long, you come here and make me remember all of it."

"But does it make you happy, living like this? Do you have friends here, like those you used to have, like us?"

Ishida just remained silent, the cigarette in his hand already forgotten.

"We could have helped you through it, if only you have asked."

"I just couldn't bear looking at everything, seeing only the blood and death, it was like that for me for weeks, while I was in Karakura after the war."

"It was like that for most of us."

Ishida exhaled loudly then looked down at the ground, "It wouldn't have been if she survived, she would have revived many of them." His voice becoming unstable as he fought back again the tears.

Ichigo was not able to answer.

Orihime, she had been a sweet sweet girl, innocent and couldn't even fire Tsubaki with a killing intent even if it meant her life. She was one of the many who died during the battle. Ichigo was fighting Gin alongside his father at that time, the battle was almost ending, the only ones left standing in Aizen's camp was Aizen himself and Gin. All the Espada had fallen, taking with them a few Shinigami, to be precise. Ukitake had fallen after unleashing his bankai, against Stark. It was much more from the exertion actually than from injuries dealt by the opponent. He did this so that he could distract the Espada so Kyouraku can deal his death blow. There were still others who had died, either before their group had arrived, or after. The list includes Hinamori Momo, Madarme Ikkaku and Kira Izuru, and of course Hitsugaya Toushiro. Many of the others were severely injured.

_Ichigo was sent flying by one of the kidou spells that was released by Gin, and unfortunately for him, he fell on Aizen's way. He did not see the strike that Aizen was going to hit him with as he was too fast for him, but somehow Orihime did. She ran and stood in between them and immediately brought out her Santen Kesshun, and she was fast enough. The thing was, she was not strong enough, her shield was not strong enough. Aizen's blade pierced thru Orihime's shield going straight to her chest, cracking even her ribs, going thru her heart. Her shield immediately shattered after that and she fell to the ground lifeless. Ichigo was too shocked to move, too shocked to even scream out his anger. He remained frozen to his place, as Aizen walked closer to him. It was during this time that the Vizards came to help, a little too late, to fight Aizen, and they finally overwhelmed him and defeated him. But their arrival could not bring the dead back, could not bring Orihime back, who was the only one who has the power to reverse such death._

_Ichigo went to her as soon as his mind snapped out of the daze. He did not even try to call out for her, knowing the act was pointless. She was dead, her reiatsu has faded. He couldn't even cry from the emotions that were churning inside of him. Then he felt a presence to his left. Ishida wide eyed staring at her dead form. He was looking at her but his eyes seemed to not be seeing anything. He was physically there but his mind was elsewhere. _

_After seeming like he noticed someone was looking at him, Ishida straightened up and walked away. His face remained emotionless for days and weeks after the incident. And then he disappeared._

As if finally remembering something, Ichigo looked at Ishida, who was now staring blankly to the ground.

He was not able to stop his next question as realization hit him. "You loved her, didn't you?"

The only gesture that Ishida made to show that he heard his question was a slight frown.

Ichigo took that as a yes. "I hope you were not foolish enough to be like Renji."

"Almost." Ishida answered as he sighed.

"So she knew?"

Ishida again turned to look at the window. He was silent for a moment. Then he answered "Yes."

Despite the solemn mood of the conversation, Ichigo could not help but ask, "When?"

"After we fought Ulquiorra."

Ichigo remembers now. After that fight, he went to talk to Ulquiorra who was sprawled on the floor, unable to move. He left Ishida and Orihime at the time, and when he returned, Orihime was particularly bouncy and cheerful and Ishida was blushing. He asked what was up only to have replies like "It's nothing Kurosaki-kun, tee-hee" and "It doesn't concern you Kurosaki" and left it at that.

Ichigo now sadly gazed at his friend, sorry for his losses, and the many regrets that entails it. He does not know how he would react given Ishida's situation.

"You know," Ishida broke the silence, "I have never looked the same way at another woman. Sure I had a few relationships but, somehow, I… Inoue-san's face always shows up in my mind after the end of the day. Surely I can't keep a relationship like that." Ishida shook his head, he was already faintly smiling.

"Yes, you can't," Ichigo agreed. He was also already smiling, "I guess there goes the saying, 'first love never dies'"

"I guess there it goes."

They were silent for a while, but this time it was comfortable. The tension that was there during the start of their conversation completely disappeared.

Ichigo felt really happy that he was able to see his friend again and that they were able to talk. It was much more than he expected. It had been so long. He was looking at Ishida with a friendly smile at his face. Ishida was still looking out the window. It may not be much, but this may be Ishida's step to recovery. He somehow hoped that their conversations helped him, but he somehow felt it did.

Deciding that this was too much for one night, Ichigo looked at his watch and said "well, will you look at the time, I guess I should be going."

Ishida turned to look at him, watching him as he stood from the couch.

"I'll be seeing you again, count on it." Ichigo said.

Ishida nodded his head in his turn.

Ichigo already turned to leave, but then he stopped and looked at Ishida "Well, if you think you can, you can come by and visit us," He then scratched his head "Or I could bring them here to visit you. They were all excited upon hearing the news from Sado, they all wanted to come, except that we don't want to overwhelm you."

Ishida seemed to think about it. "Perhaps I would try to visit."

"Maybe if the time came, you'd be ready to return to Karakura."

"If the time will come." Ishida said thoughtfully.

Ichigo smiled widely now, "See you again Ishida." He turned and disappeared, leaving Ishida alone in his room.

* * *

It was midnight, one month after Ichigo's visit to Ishida. Since that time, they were able to visit him, at least once a week, catching up end telling stories, with the Hueco Mundo group. Except that Renji wasn't there.

Ishida just went out of the hospital after he attended to an emergency case of gunshot wound. He was not able to revive the patient as he had bled profusely even before arriving at the emergency room. He saw as the soul went out of his body and even when the chain linking them has been severed. He knew at that time it was already over.

He again reached out for his shirt pocket for his cigarette, and he lit one. He was already walking towards his car, when he saw his patient's soul walking around. He left him, being very much used to this since he entered med school. The Shinigami assigned to the area would now be in charge of him.

He saw a bright light in his peripheral vision, probably signaling that the soul was already sent to Soul Society. As if to confirm this fact, a black butterfly went past him. He suddenly felt something in his gut, urging him to look back. He followed it and turned to look at the place where he earlier saw the soul.

His eyes widened and the cigarette fell from his mouth. The Shinigami whose back was facing him, looked like or dressed like all the others, except that she has an orange hair that flowing to her back. She half turned and he saw her face.

"Inoue-san…" Ishida gasped.

The shinigami's shoulder tensed, and she slowly turned around, her gray eyes similarly went wide. "Ishida-kun."

END.

* * *

So what do you think? A bit of angst and drama here. Did I communicate this one right or was it a bit disorganized?

I really could not think of a title for this one, I was seriously planning to make it "Untitled", but settled for this... hope you like it.


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